Patriarchy, I have a few questions and many comments regarding your performance. What exactly do you DO? 50% of your colleagues have filed grievances against you, declaring everything from sexual assault to incompetence. Evidently, this misconduct has gone on for centuries. Therefore, I’m initiating an assessment of your World Ruler job duties. You will be provided a copy of the final evaluation. You will also receive notice of whether or not you shall remain in this leadership role. Please respond

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Let’s be clear - this is about everyday sexism. This isn't an invitation for dick pics. Nor do I want gigolos contacting me with 10% off coupons, nor do I want to receive dismembered male genitalia from an unidentified, prolific serial killer. To be honest, if it weren’t for sexism and its slew of demon monkeys called “Rape Culture”, “Glass Ceiling”, and “High Heels”, I’d be completely content living in a female body. The following are five fine sexist examples

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Let’s face it, when you’re in the public spotlight, it can be hard to find just the wrong outfit for every occasion, especially if you’ve already worn stripper heels to a hurricane-ravished city and a spiteful jacket to visit kids in cages. Fortunately, we’ve done the hard work of researching other equally horrid choices for first ladies and others who want to make sure everyone knows they’re only out in public because when they hide out for a month, people

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The recent royal wedding got me thinking about how totally backwards the wedding industry is. But I mean hey, look how far we've come from swapping a couple of goats and blankets for the bride. Nowadays the father walks the bride down the aisle and gifts her to her future husband. I'm so glad we're totally past the whole 'women as property' thing, right? “Weddings are kind of weird. I mean, what's the logic? It's like, “Well, we love each other.

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