Let’s face it, when you’re in the public spotlight, it can be hard to find just the wrong outfit for every occasion, especially if you’ve already worn stripper heels to a hurricane-ravished city and a spiteful jacket to visit kids in cages.

Fortunately, we’ve done the hard work of researching other equally horrid choices for first ladies and others who want to make sure everyone knows they’re only out in public because when they hide out for a month, people make up lies about boob jobs. The fashions listed below may be a little too cheap for those used to spending $1000 on a bra, but perhaps the sentiments could be plagiarized onto something more expensive, as is the way.

After having done this intensive research, we are seriously thinking of creating our own line of over-priced, ill-fitting first ladies’ jacket with our own slogans, such as:

  • Don’t make me emote and ruin my Botox
  • Who are you and why do you matter?
  • This sweater is made from children’s tears
  • Only pretty illegal immigrants get in