From the Mouths of Broads: An International Women’s Day Quiz

by Leigh Anne Jasheway
Leigh Anne Jasheway

We here at The Syndrome Mag love learning from funny women, so to celebrate International Women’s Day, we present this fun quiz to see if you can match the funny one-liner to the woman who said it.

Match the funny one-liner to the woman who said it:

Some people are not meant to be mothers and some people are not meant to drive.
I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim.
I was like, Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized… I’m just slutty. Where’s my parade?
You could certainly say I've never underestimated myself.
You’re either a feminist or a masochist.
The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win.
Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
My two secrets to staying healthy: wash your hands all the time. And the other is hot peppers. I eat a lot of hot peppers.
Since I’m only a comedian, I’m not going to try and tell you comedians how to do politics. That would be like you guys telling me what to do with my body. I mean, can you even imagine? Crazy.
Well-behaved women rarely make history.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
If I had Instagram it would just be pictures of my son. Who is a cat.
My coach said I ran like a girl, I said if he could run a little faster he could too.
Just because I have my standards, they think I’m a bitch.
I did not want my tombstone to read, 'She kept a really clean house.
I had to ask my grandchildren, “What does it mean ‘I threw shade’?”
We have lived through the era when happiness was a warm puppy, and the era when happiness was a dry martini, and now we have come to the era when happiness is "knowing what your uterus looks like.”
The guys used to tap me on the head and say 'you're OK for a girl.'
However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, "I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.
It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.
Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.
Know what? Bitches get stuff done.
In a certain light, feminism is just the long, slow realization that the stuff you love hates you.
There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.


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