Aren’t dolphins amazing? They’re so beautiful, smart and even friendly. They have an articulate and complex language, made not only of sounds but also body movements. It is said that they are the second most intelligent creatures after man. Male dolphins. Female dolphins, not so much. Female dolphins are bitches. Promiscuous bitches. Female dolphins have sex with anyone who crosses their path. That's why they could easily be defined as "sluts". At least that's what I understood from watching a
When I was young I didn’t like middle-aged women because they were nasty, rude and aggressive. Even now, I have trouble with middle-aged women. The resting faces middle-aged women are terrible scowls. They yell at you in the supermarket line when you’re not moving fast enough or taking too long to pay. I remember once banging my thumb and being in terrible pain in the checkout line. I was desperately calling my doctor to see if I could get an
Have you ever looked at your Roomba and thought to yourself, “I wonder if Roombie could take time out of its busy day of cleaning up dog hair and Cheerios to do me”? For most women, the answer is probably an emphatic “No.” If you’re anything like me, you think having a machine that picks up after you every day is better than a short romp in the hay with something that will keep bumping into the headboard and whose
What big eyes you have... – All the better to see you with... More than a fairytale, this is my love life. Love screws you over and that’s a fact. It sneaks up on you from behind like a Celine Dion song, leaving you unsure whether to commit suicide or buy a majority shareholding in a tissue company. It runs you over and throws you off course. We need to understand this so we can learn to live with each
