State Governors Battle Covid-19 With Their Bare Faces

by Emily Parzybok
Emily Parzybok

As your governor, I am horrified to see the rising case numbers of coronavirus in our state. It’s a tragedy. As our hospitals fill to capacity and schools see dire rates of infection, it’s awful knowing that there is absolutely nothing we can do to prevent the spread of Covid-19.

In my state, we proudly haven’t tried to control the pandemic because, like the American people and the people of our great state, the pandemic will not be controlled. I’m not sure if people know this, but coronavirus is contagious. There’s simply no way to fight it. They told us that masks and social distancing would cut down the rate of infection. But at what cost?

Tell me this: would you rather be free to walk around with your face uncovered or would you rather be alive? I think we can all see the obvious answer.

As your governor, I am committed to continuing the fight for your freedoms and liberties. I will fight to the death-your death specifically. Absolutely nothing will stand in the way of ensuring your right to put yourself and those around you in the way of this virus through obstinance and negligence. It’s your first amendment right. I will always protect it, even when you’re gone.

Despite all the doom and gloom, I believe we’re rounding the corner on the virus. No, really. It’s just around the corner. That person walking towards you down the block probably has it.

If you managed to survive until election day, I want to remind you that you won’t be safe in Joe Biden’s America. I myself have attended the Trump rallies that have infected an estimated 30,000 people thus far. And I can tell you that no one even seems to remember that Herman Cain died-or who he was for that matter. You know what people do remember? The feeling of freely gathering with uncovered faces in support of our president in the midst of this pandemic.

I want to assure you that the situation is completely under control; soon we’ll have enough of the vaccine. And while I can’t say testing availability has been a priority in the state, we’ll take the lessons we haven’t learned there and apply them to make sure everyone is vaccinated properly. Also, even though the vaccine is our only hope, I can promise you that it will not be mandatory. You’re not just protected from government interference when it comes to mask wearing; you can also reject the treatment that I view as the only solution.

Listen, I’m not trying to be your leader. You’re not sheeple. My job is not to set an example or mandate public health guidelines. My job is to ensure that you can do whatever you want no matter what. And as your not-leader, I will exercise my not-leadership to demand absolutely nothing of our populace to halt the spread of coronavirus.

I can’t say that nothing has worked-but I certainly hope it will.

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Pandemic Life

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