After 30 years I’ve discovered that you can understand the evolution of a person and society based on what they lose.
–Middle school, late 1990s.
I lost my glasses and after a month and a half I found them in the pocket of my jacket that I wore every day.
Conclusions:
1. It was the era of glasses without frames, they were super thin, and so I didn’t even realize they were in my pocket.
2. I was a ditz.
3. I evidently still had good eyesight, since I was able to go a month and a half without glasses.
Good times.
-High school, early 2000s
I lost my phone and my brother found it 2 days later. In the breadbox.
Conclusions:
1. My brother didn’t let me forget that one for a long time.
2. I was a ditzy high school student.
3. It wasn’t a big deal to go 48 hours without your phone.
Strange times.
–College, 2010s
New York: I lost my ring that I never ever wear.
My mother found it. Three months later. In the watering can. At home. In Texas.
Conclusions:
1. I was a ditzy college student
2. What was I doing with the watering can?
Different times.
-Today, 2010s.
I lose the probiotics that I was supposed to start taking a month ago.
I find them squeezed between a bottle of gin and a bottle of tequila.
Burning question: did I put the probiotics next to the liquor to remind me to drink or did I put the liquor next to the probiotics to remind me to take them?
Conclusions:
1. I am a ditz that doesn’t drink and doesn’t take probiotics.
Sober times.
