A Guide for How Your Job Can Take Years off Your Face

by Cecilia Calado
Cecilia Calado

We all know that real beauty comes from inside, but sometimes a little push from the outside also helps. Here is a guide on how to take a lousy job and use it to improve your looks. You can still use your regular moisturizer though, if you want to accelerate the rejuvenation process.

Start by imagining you are over forty. Let’s say you’ve almost reached the amazing 50s and you decide to take a student job. It’s not because you can’t aim higher or because you are desperate. You do it because you had enough responsibilities during your previous successful career and you just want to earn a living in a more relaxed way, for a while at least. Trust me, there is no better way to rejuvenate.


1. Most of your co-workers are so young they could practically be your children, even some of your team leaders could have been your spawn.

This fact ultimately supports the rejuvenation process. You could potentially be their mom, but since they can’t imagine working with their mothers, they automatically think you are 10 or 15 years younger than you really are. So, there’s no need to hide your wrinkles, their eyes seem to be blind to the traces of growing up without the internet. Besides their mothers would never apply for a student job, so there’s no way you could be the same age.

2. When you mention that the internet and mobile phones only existed in Sci-Fi when you were a child, they start laughing.

This makes you start laughing too, and you might feel like you are from the Stone Age, but to them you are just hilarious. Obviously, there was no life before Facebook or Instagram, it is you who have such a great imagination. And then you all laugh again! As everybody knows, laughing is very good for exercising facial muscles and it gives you a youthful glow.

3. Your co-workers are definitely smarter than you, proving Darwin’s theory of evolution.

So, you adapt to your new work environment in order to survive. You put your mind through a sort of cross-fit training, and your brain cells start to absorb more oxygen. This makes them happy, refreshed and ready to work as fast as your co-workers’ synapses. Working with younger colleagues has been like totally said to prevent Alzheimer’s, and also helps you stay completely up-to-date on all the latest Apps and software updates.

4. Talking with your co-workers reminds you of when you were their age and all of the dreams and desires you had.

It reconnects you to the feeling that anything is possible and that the world is at your feet. This gives you hope that you can still enjoy enthusiasm, daydreaming and wishful thinking. Daydreaming in particular inspires blank gazes that relax your face while causing others to believe you are having a mystical experience. Sarcasm aside, your aura will increase making you look foolishly youthful, more than any expensive eye cream can!

5. You will probably slim down faster than the blink of an eye.

The low salary provided by student jobs require, at least theoretically, that people are students, perhaps living with their parents or on their parents’ dime. However, the highly effective rejuvenating process we are talking about here clearly makes living below the poverty line well worth it. On the one hand since you don’t earn much money, you can’t spend much money. So, you end up only being able to afford cheap, healthy vegetables, and not ice cream or cheesecake. Rather than drinking expensive wine or trendy microbrews, the only drink you can afford is tap water. This will help you lose weight quickly, just wait and see. The lower your income, the more pounds you’ll lose.


As you can see, student jobs offer several benefits that can make you look and feel much younger. At times you might feel like you’re from another planet or an entirely different world that today’s youth know nothing about. But overall, it’s a very uplifting experience, I just wonder how much longer it will last because I’m starting to crave an expensive glass of French champagne.



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