But What Do You Do All Day? (Plague Edition)

by Laura Wheatman Hill
Laura Wheatman Hill

We’ve been living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape for a while now. Things could be worse. We are healthy. We currently have TP. The days seem longer now. So, what do I do all day with all my “time off?”

It rained all day today so this is the “inside version.” The nice-weather version involves a lot more random outside time.

7 a.m.

Barely sleeping. Has anyone else had the Tangled soundtrack running through their heads lately? ​ I am awakened  by the boy, who tells me the sun is rising and it’s time for us to wake up and he’d like two waffles and “all the syrup.”  Somehow, I do this wrong. MORNING TANTRUM COMMENCES. When his rage and sorrow subside, we read or he makes loud noises with Legos while everyone else sleeps.

8 a.m.

The girl wanders out of her (my) bed and also must be fed. The boy does not like that I am in the kitchen and not helping him build a Lego McMansion.

8:30 a.m.

“Free Play” (Mom lies listlessly on the couch, reading the horrible internet news while children run rampant.)

9 a.m. or when the screaming gets to be too loud:

SCHOOL time. We are honestly not pushing this too hard. My kids are little and they don’t need much beyond play. But they’ve been into the myriad of online resources and will often comply with writing friends letters during “literacy time” or playing Sleeping Queens as “math time.”

SECOND BREAKFAST

10 a.m.

WFH FTW WTF? I am an online tutor and usually get to take spring break, but last week, I tried to teach other people’s kids for two hours a day while mine had media time, but they interrupted me two-three times AN HOUR to ask for snacks or just to say hi.

OR

CRAFT TIME: We glue some shit. We draw some shit. Mo Willems is my new lord and savior because he has been teaching online classes. We make collages that show our innermost feelings. I’m only a week into this disaster and I’m already out of craft ideas. Tomorrow we are going to make treasure boxes or something out of Amazon boxes and whatever leftover feathers we have lying around after our fairy house craft today.

11 a.m. – 12 p.m.’ish or whenever we get too bored

LUNCH TIME! Without going to the store multiple times a week, we are about to run out of fresh produce and dairy, but for the moment, lunchtime is normal. I will have to come up with some creative solutions for my excessively sensitive eaters soon, though. Mostly, they’re going to starve or have to live off gummy vitamins and crackers.

Midday:

NAPTIME for the boy. AFTERNOON TANTRUM COMMENCES. It subsides when I give up on naptime and he joins his sister for…

INTERNET TEACHERS: There are lots of them on the internet these days, y’all. Mine like having celebrities they don’t recognize read them stories. Alice’s amazing kindergarten teachers have been reading books and sending content. We also have to care for some disgusting meal worms for her class project. They are (thus-far) still alive, but I don’t have much hope for them.

This is followed by CARB SNACK and then READING. We’ve been favoring family photo albums lately. It’s only a little depressing seeing all the places we used to go. So then we play BOARD GAMES because they are less depressing.

2 p.m.

IS THIS DAY OVER YET? NO? IT’S ONLY 2 P.M.!? OMG!! (Take anti-anxiety meds. Drink tea). Read a book or maybe two or three. Add a few new paintings to our gallery.

MEDIA TIME (again, in some cases). I meal prep during this time with my remaining supplies. Or I go on the internet and try to find more things to amuse these creatures. Or I read what’s happened in the world since morning on the internet. Scroll scroll scroll.

4 p.m.

Is it too early for dinner? No?

DINNER. They don’t like it. The cheese is wrong. The beans are not the right kind of beans.

4:30 p.m.

When did we last bathe you? Bath!

5 p.m.

Pajama wrestling. This ends in EVENING TANTRUM.

Books.

6:30 p.m.

THE MESS IS MAKING ME FEEL CRAZY PLEASE CLEAN UP YOUR TOYS AND STUFF.

Dishes. So many dishes. I sweep again, and by then it’s like…

7:15 p.m.

Everyone gets their meds and kids go the F to sleep.

8-8:30 p.m.

Everyone in bed? Cool. Read. TV. Movie. Tidy. OMG, the laundry.

10 p.m.

Medicate. Fall into a stress-filled slumber.

DO IT AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! Forever? Just wondering…when will my life begin (again)?

 


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